I am a pastor. Hurt. Lost. Still rejoicing in God.

2020 is for sharp vision, see, it’s 20/20. It all depends how you look at life and Nature.

For me, it’s being eternally grateful, trying to be resilient, keep tranquility amidst the storms, evolving, uplifting and encouraging others.

Basically, change the pain, turn it, convert it into creative, positive action, art. Create a chance, show a path for those behind the rainbow. All the neglected, broken, abandoned ones. The ones with shattered hearts.

Only one can make real, meaningful changes in one’s life.

No one else.

 

I’ve just turned to 44. How many years left? I need to live well this time ahead, make every second count on Earth.

God called me when I was 10, but He was with me all time before.

Not that I haven’t had my curvy roads.

Yet, He has helped me, shaped me into who I am and who I can still become.

 

Gratitude.

For the pain, for the brokenness, for the bonemarrow aching grief.

My True Father says, I should recreate Heaven not somewhere else, but turn Hell here into Heaven, that’s the true restoration, that’s what Heavenly Parent has been working on with us.

How right He is!

It’s hard to recall if there has been a single person who wouldn’t have been attracted to God’s light and truth through me and would have actually be interested in how I am doing.

I am OK with that, that’s the beauty of it, being completely ready to pass God’s word to the ones in need.

 

Being left by the wife of 20+ years, being cheated on, called on names and treated as nobody’s dog, shattering all the hope and light – that came unexpected.

I had to learn I can’t take away others’ own part of responsibility no matter how much I wish.

God hasn’t made us to be robots. That simple it is.

Yet, we are living quite often as ignorant, malfunctioning robots. Likeminded zombies.

I know, this is God’s love and trust that I can bear and overcome it.

Still, it took a long time to accept, I am a good person after all – Satan wants us to feel isolated and alone. God is in togetherness.

God is in togetherness.

 

The strongest prayer I ever had was when my son was dying.

Heavenly Father accepted my offering and I’ve never held anything back ever since then.

Poured out every ounce of energy every day, earnestly living for others.

Now, most of the times I sing in my prayers.

When the pain becomes overwhelming, words can’t be formed, my soul only can sing. I learned it from others who went through the unexplainable. Like surviving the genocide in Rwuanda. Still trusting in God, still fighting with unrighteously caused hurt. God helped me to learn this and I’m grateful for this, too.

I am grateful for so many things.

I am grateful for everything.

 

I have never wanted to accept we are all meant to be alone at the end – despite the world’s best efforts to convince us.

But I can’t see how it will turn out.

I feel trapped and in many aspects I am. That is also the trust God can give: a chance to grow by doing something unprecedent, unimaginable.

Wouldn’t call it faith, though.

It’s a fact. Knowledge. Truth in my core.

God has never been in the books. He has always been in the life of those who acted upon their conscience. The ones who accepted without any conditions. The pure hearted ones.

 

I’m still wearing my Blessing ring.

It’s the symbol of my promise to God about me not giving up.

Just it hurts miserably.

For sure, it’s beyond every logic – but it’s a path to follow Jesus, it’s a path to pave for others, to have their life easier. It’s for my children and my spiritual children, too.

Can I be abundantly happy evermore?

Not sure.

On the one hand, I am successful and accepted in almost every aspects in life – except the conjugal relationship.

It’s a contradiction: Heaven is formed in pairs.

So, can a pastor date?

Sure. The world is a big place, seen tons of things.

Can this pastor date?

Nope. He made a promise to God.

Does it hurt?

Yes.

Makes sense?

In a way absolutely no.

Still, it’s a rejoice in Heavenly Parent.

 

 

Be Blessed and Wise!

 

 

Joshua Dragon

Why do we sing?

As I Can See

Why do we sing? Is singing the expression of joy and hope or hatred? Then how can joy be expressed? Songs can be divided into three categories: those that express a longing for joy, those that actually express joy and those that express sorrow over the lack of joy. In all three categories there must be a subject and object; a song about yourself alone would not be meaningful. When we talk about joy, we are automatically talking about someone else besides ourselves. The subject-object relationship is a prerequisite for joy. Before joy can exist there must be two poles that can form a circuit.

Throughout history much art and literature have been created and all of these express a yearning for joy, joy itself, or sorrow. Do we all need someone besides ourselves? The birds sing; even insects sing, yet no matter how trivial they may be, their singing…

View original post 27 more words

Whenever

As I Can See

Whenever I feel abandoned, it is only in me.

Heavenly Father has never left me. He always stands next to me, trying to catch me when I fall, showing the best way for my path, saying the righteousness needed for the life I live.

I became reluctant. Sometimes even put Him to the abyss of denial. I am often blind, however I have eyes, I am often deaf, however I have ears to hear. And I have an unfortunate talent to work off His active help, feeling it as a shackle.

So, I leave to yourself, Father, time to time. I am looking for words to express my apology, but I can’t find. I know, you are in pain, because of me, too. How can I be an example for others, on the road back to you?

Whenever I need you, You are with me. Whenever I am down, You…

View original post 45 more words

Rejoice of man and woman

As I Can See

A man would welcome having a woman with whom he could be happy. Likewise, a woman would like to have a man with whom she could rejoice. In addition, their relationship should be one in which God and all things could find happiness. All the environment, all the existing things, would become excited to see such a couple, and would naturally respond to them, Birds would sing to the couple and butterflies would fly joyfully around them. In this phenomenal world, God rejoices, man rejoices, and all things rejoice down to the smallest insects. If our ancestry had started from this position, we would have had an ideal world.

(from the book: God’s Will and the World)

View original post

Why do we sing?

Why do we sing? Is singing the expression of joy and hope or hatred? Then how can joy be expressed? Songs can be divided into three categories: those that express a longing for joy, those that actually express joy and those that express sorrow over the lack of joy. In all three categories there must be a subject and object; a song about yourself alone would not be meaningful. When we talk about joy, we are automatically talking about someone else besides ourselves. The subject-object relationship is a prerequisite for joy. Before joy can exist there must be two poles that can form a circuit.

Throughout history much art and literature have been created and all of these express a yearning for joy, joy itself, or sorrow. Do we all need someone besides ourselves? The birds sing; even insects sing, yet no matter how trivial they may be, their singing and beautiful sounds are not for themselves. They are for someone else, for a partner, for their neighbors.

The Blessing
Reverend Sun Myung Moon
February 20, 1977

Whenever

Whenever I feel abandoned, it is only in me.

Heavenly Father has never left me. He always stands next to me, trying to catch me when I fall, showing the best way for my path, saying the righteousness needed for the life I live.

I became reluctant. Sometimes even put Him to the abyss of denial. I am often blind, however I have eyes, I am often deaf, however I have ears to hear. And I have an unfortunate talent to work off His active help, feeling it as a shackle.

So, I leave to yourself, Father, time to time. I am looking for words to express my apology, but I can’t find. I know, you are in pain, because of me, too. How can I be an example for others, on the road back to you?

Whenever I need you, You are with me. Whenever I am down, You desperately try to find the ways to lift me up…

I want, I would like, I long for sharing my joy, my happiness time to You, whenever it is. Rejoice with You from the blink of an eye to the greatest moments of my lifetime…

Rejoice of man and woman

A man would welcome having a woman with whom he could be happy. Likewise, a woman would like to have a man with whom she could rejoice. In addition, their relationship should be one in which God and all things could find happiness. All the environment, all the existing things, would become excited to see such a couple, and would naturally respond to them, Birds would sing to the couple and butterflies would fly joyfully around them. In this phenomenal world, God rejoices, man rejoices, and all things rejoice down to the smallest insects. If our ancestry had started from this position, we would have had an ideal world.

(from the book: God’s Will and the World)

The lost sheep

“What man among you with a hundred sheep, losing one, would not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness and go after the missing one till he found it? And when he found it, would be not joyfully take it on his shoulders and then, when he got home, call together his friends and neighbors? ‘Rejoice with me,’ he would say ‘I have found my sheep that was lost’. In the same way, I telly you, there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one repentant sinner than over ninety-nine virtuous men who have no need of repentance.”

Luke 15:4-7

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: