Asked

As I Can See

I am often asked why I’m so different or bigot or just simply, why I do not lead a life like any other.

For a long while, I always started to explain, reason, give insights to share my understanding, being always polite, listening and only later respond. However, all these ended up with the unpleasant feeling of not being heard, listened, cared. It took time I realized, most of the conversations were one-sided, nobody was really curious about my response. As I grew, I learned and experienced: for everything a mutual give and receive pattern is necessary…

I am firm in my faith. To be blunt, I do not believe. I know.

I was called by God, in several ways, although, in the midst of the spiritual growing plenty of times I missed the guidance, skipped the boat of fortune and was stubborn in selfishly vain. Whenever I was asked…

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Tears of God – God is Within

(from the upcoming book: God is Within)

There was always a sadness around God. I couldn’t describe it in the beginning, however, thinking back, He was never thunderously joyful. Maybe it was me or just the world around – He never actually laughed and brought the eternal rainbow. It was only me who painted the sky…

In my long awakening -and falling asleep periods- I studied a lot about Him. Mind-travelled to East, South, North and West, thin air and ancient wisdom. It looked every culture had a different entity to respect, fear, adore, praise, love, hate. Some others seemed to understand a little and added their own ideas or agendas to fill the gaps, declaring a ‘truth’, benefitting their own purposes or hiding their vanity, or lack.

I kept trying to fit my experiences to churches, denominations, cults, even theists. Although, practical questions such as UFOs, poverty, cruelty, slavery, unrighteousness never got an easing explanation, the experiences to keep up with the flow and finding a suitable stream ending up with incompatibility, rather poor logic or the extreme were on…

First, I didn’t understand who God was.

Secondly, thirdly neither. Music, movies gave more ‘this must be true’ than anything else. I was blind, deaf, mute – completely senseless most of the times. Temporary, I came to the surface, saw in the dark than I doubted and convinced myself to numbness…

I remember calling to the Moon, shouting, half-crying at a night in a crowded city, where I felt the most lonely among millions. The answer was ahead, yet I didn’t want to endure more; chose sinking into the mediocre denial.

The glimpses of channeling the Truth at late nights for strangers, talking about the final fire dance where no modern vanity matters, being without electricity, living as true selves in harmony are still vivid. How far these were from state of resonance, unity!

I was composing. Daytime, sensing the necessity in my blood cells and soul I just sat and started to record. Immediately, I traveled through time and space, arriving to a void.

God wasn’t ‘out there’. I was in Him, like a part of His universal body and felt His longing, the urge, the hope. He was joyous even for imaging His desire…

Extreme amount of time passed, but then there was no such a concept of time and space. States of fulfillment and the era until. Although, time is linear, God both lived in the Ideal and the long planning, this way He got ceaseless energy.

The first echoes filled the Galaxy. Then, accelerated formation of the elements, life forms as He was trying to find the best form of His love objects, His manifested children and then family…

Eve was playing with a jumping rope, singing, melted into the happiness and care of the Garden. God was with her and she was curious about His Father. Adam was slightly different, however, deeply loved Him. The Main Servant, who enjoyed the most trust and love was there, helping and serving, guiding and protecting. After the Creation, Lucifer spent most of the times with the Children…

Everything was on the way of growth and maturation, as a tree needs to look for the Sun, straightening its trunk, everybody had conditions to fulfill and to be Blessed…

There was no fault in the Plan. It was always obvious, whatever is out of the realm of God’s Heart, will be in the coldest, never existed realm, what has no place in the Universe.

The free will was never meant to do anything, rather the freedom of asking, discovering based on the pattern around in the Nature…

Nobody was completed. Angels had a special gift planned and prepared, gratitude of God for their service. Their condition was -unknown by them- to let Adam and Eve marry in front of God, guiding and escorting them all the way long. They didn’t understand and Lucifer didn’t ask. God felt the gloom. If He intervenes He breaks His own laws, and He was omnipotent. He hoped Children or Caretaker would come and ask so He could guide. No one succeeded this condition.

Confusion, misunderstanding, growing jealousy and loneliness, being abandoned – Lucifer was scared. All the Creation received and expected God’s Wisdom from him, this time, he was helpless. And attracted. Attracted to Eve who loved him seemingly utmost.

Eve was spiritually complete, they made love.

Eve immediately inherited all the fear and doubts from the Archangel. Instead of shouting to her real Father she chose Adam to comfort her heart. Adam also was in lack of maturation and loved the teasing satisfaction. No one looked for God…

He was crying. His bitter tears were running through His face when He asked the Children. He really wanted to give a second chance, at least, if they recognize, ask, then something can be done. Denial, neglecting, hidden shivering, fear based arrogance. Blaming, accusing the very One who only knew goodness. He died there but was alive. Wanted to leave but couldn’t.

He lost everything. His dreams, joy, energy, fortune, family was gone. He lost everything…

Uncountable time has passed. The sorrow of God, our Heavenly Parent has never been changed. Beloved ones turned to be enemies, He became outcast, desperate, lonely. Yet, He couldn’t stop loving, caring and helping…

As I was composing the piano suite ‘Once there was a God…’ I was sobbing, crying, started to feel a part of God’s Heart and life. He was never really happy, He was to most sorrowful in the whole Universe.

From that hour on, I’m eternally linked to Him. Whether I fail or overcome and grow, this connection is always there.

My purpose is simple: wipe away His tears and laugh and dance together. And this brings the very best for my family and the world.

 

JD

The Man

The man was a young boy once, and immersed himself in all what others. He played Star Wars with school-desks made Millenium Falcon, where he always wanted rather to be Luke than Chewbacca or at least Han. He used to push bugs and looked at them, bought flowers because it was told to be the way for asking a classmate out at the age of six. Sometimes he roamed around protected whom he thought had to be.
Also, he was wandering in the endless walls of a burdened world. He started to see the cracking in his nightmares which he thought to be normal dreams, which only turned out to be different with others.
He used to be scared and frightened by nukes and early, unrighteous endings of the world he only knew from books, music and later rare TV and movies. For him the muppets were as close as far for the most surrounding him. He couldn’t swim but never drowned in the flood.

Time to time, he was on the surface and resonated. He did not know it was the Universe, God or parallel realities, it was like to be awaken. During those periods time and space seemed to expand till disappeared and only a cognition remained, an unnamed unity and resonance.

Eras and eons passed by. The man who once was a boy disappeared. Followed patterns, sank into vanity and was lost in a purposeless maze. Rarely, he came back to the surface, then, he just felt desperate and immediately chose the suffocating blob accumulated in his soul and cells, the life-deceiving agony.

As he grew, he did not mature. Instead, he seemed to vaporize in the thin air. He was one in a trillion. Then he died.

Reincarnation was something quite else than in the books. He did not incarnate into a worm, a deer or a young baby. He was in the same body, same age when he passed away. However, this time he knew, felt, sensed everything he had done as they were happening again and again, all at once, yet separately. Time and space differed again, and he was in the loneliest place in the galaxy. He felt nobody recognized his absence and his return, connecting to him as he was still in a coma. He couldn’t wake up from his life.

It was God who saved him.
He didn’t know it though. Or at least not at first.

He was like a broken machine, a soulless mind. His heart was broken.
Little, tiny steps of grace and unexpected love by others who were without any particular reason to give. The man was grateful to these people. Like a reinstalled robot he started to adopt. It was a life more of commands but was a new life. Borders, boundaries unknown, burdens carried in an unspeakable clothe. He was tidy, unclean.

Probes, endeavors started. People came saying and showing his own failures in their lives. He wanted to save them. Each one of them, he felt unworthy to pray for them, so he offered his own unworthy life, health. He begged to inherit the curses freeing them this way. He was often unable to move, walk, speak, but his heart started to beat for each and every unknown he met on his journey. Then for others with whom he never met.

Eras and eons passed.

The man became more mature. Incomplete.

Sometimes, he feels he knows less from the final truth than ever. Other times he is wronged, misunderstood. Quite often he feels the pains in his teeth as he presses his lips not to say, not to preach. He struggles inside, frequently tidal waves question even his own existence. However, inside, somewhere in the middle, he is calm and relaxed. This tranquility is tested even by Heavenly Parent, to form his heart into a more resonating shape.

The man is alone. Enjoys his quest to find home for and with each and every one of you. To build the everlasting land of eternal values, virtues and absolute love.

The man who once was a boy asks you to come and build it, together.

 

Be Blessed and Be Blessing for Others!

Joshua Dragon

 

(From the book: God is Within by Joshua Dragon)

Asked

I am often asked why I’m so different or bigot or just simply, why I do not lead a life like any other.

For a long while, I always started to explain, reason, give insights to share my understanding, being always polite, listening and only later respond. However, all these ended up with the unpleasant feeling of not being heard, listened, cared. It took time I realized, most of the conversations were one-sided, nobody was really curious about my response. As I grew, I learned and experienced: for everything a mutual give and receive pattern is necessary…

I am firm in my faith. To be blunt, I do not believe. I know.

I was called by God, in several ways, although, in the midst of the spiritual growing plenty of times I missed the guidance, skipped the boat of fortune and was stubborn in selfishly vain. Whenever I was asked, it was a definite headache for my Heavenly Father, whether I can make it, live up to it, or keep repeating what shouldn’t. It affected all my family, people and in many ways the world around.

Only when I stopped self-accusing, all the deaf speakers started to listen and care.

Elders, better-established members of the society, even family and people of faith came to seek advice. Later on, they stopped talking, they only wanted to listen, hear and being advised, healed.

Perseverance. Perseverance was the most challenging in the times of lonely self-doubts. Praying, meditating, reading, studying, repeating, correcting, analyzing, checking, trying, failing, re-trying – all led to the state of self-esteem, a state of value. I couldn’t be humble when I said it; when I forgot it and myself an example occured for others.

Being afraid of loosing my old self was a great obstacle during the years. That time I didn’t know I could be more, still me, but much closer to the absolute values. As I immersed myself in the living for the sake of others, enormous gifts of life appeared, and state of resonance, a living proof of God in me and in life.

How, why, when – people are constantly searching for God, our Heavenly Father. Life and heart is my answer, their ladder, their link.

 

(from the book: God is Within)

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