Why do you love your children? A husband and wife may confront each other in heated battle, with neither side budging an inch, but the one point of unity always remaining between them is their children. Thus there is never complete separation. Why is that? Why don’t they hate their children when they fight with each other? If they were to disregard their children, then they would have nothing left because their children are their hope. They must have something to hang onto, and their children are that something. The hope of the father, the mother, and also of God all hinges upon the children, and they cannot disregard their hope.
Even though they may not consciously realize this, they can feel that their children are the beginning point of hope for the Kingdom of God here on earth and in heaven. History begins right there. Therefore, God, parents and children, all find common ground in the position of the children.
Parents can always forget themselves when they centre on their children and their sacrificial spirit will extend even to the point of giving up their own lives. If a husband and wife are a happy couple and very much united in love but they have no children, can they say they are perfectly happy as a family? Even though a husband and wife may be perfectly in harmony, as long as there are no children some area of their lives will always remain imperfect. That is because they will not have the hope that will create their Kingdom of God on earth and hereafter in heaven. They will not have planted the seed of the Kingdom.
If a husband and wife go to spirit world without the experience of having children, then when they see God loving all His children here on earth they cannot share His feeling. Without having children they are lacking in one area and their feelings cannot parallel God’s in His own experience of having children. For eternity they will be completely lacking in that one vertical area, and they will have no way to gain that experience.
Then what is your conclusion? Do you need to be married and have children? There are many very egoistic, secular, and selfish feelings prevailing in our world nowadays. People are thinking that marriage is a burden, and that they do not want to be bothered with children. Even many Americans who did marry are making a conscientious effort to not have children. Why? They are afraid that they will be imprisoned by having the responsibility of a child. America is a women’s kingdom; here the women are always masters of the house, and in many cases the men obey the women. Many times a couple does not have children because the wife just does not want that pain and burden.
I frequently go to New York, and there I have seen that most of the well-dressed people are women, while the American men look miserable. The women not only wear beautiful clothes but their ten fingers are not enough to hold all their ornaments. The amazing thing is, however, that those women do not look happy, even though they have everything and are kicking their husbands around. Many of those women push their husbands to get them bigger diamonds and more gold. Do you agree? Only the men are saying yes! Can you women say, “I don’t need earrings or diamond rings. What I need is perfect harmony with my husband and a sacrificial spirit towards him so that together we can serve the purpose of God.” That is beautiful, isn’t it? Would you still say, “Amen,” if you had only bad shoes and rags to wear?
Your external looks and ornaments have no value in a spiritual sense; rather the kind of love that is dwelling in your heart is the key. A child is love made visible and the quality of your love can be seen in your child. When there is common fruit between a husband and wife then there can be no permanent separation between them. Their children are their most precious things, and for an innocent child his mother and father are most precious. In order to make a child happy, you must provide him or her with the love of a father and mother. Even more than that, the parents must give their children the love of God; they must represent God, and His love must be made visible through them.
God cannot forgive anyone who acts to destroy such a beautiful bond of love. The most pitiful situation, and one we can often see in American society, is that of a husband and wife getting divorced and fighting over their children. No matter how much that couple may try to invite God to come, there is no room for the love of God in that kind of situation. In divorce the parents are not only separating from each other but from their children and from God. Their vertical line of love is destroyed. The mother may say to her child, “Your daddy is absolutely no good. Please hate him.” That does not make sense because a child cannot hate his father; it is also virtually impossible for a child to hate his mother. Those of you whose own parents have separated, raise your hands. You know from experience that the most agonizing pain for a child is witnessing conflict between his father and mother, because then you do not know which way to turn. Can you love only one parent and disregard the other?
Actually a child becomes more sympathetic toward his father when his mother says he must hate his father. It is natural to oppose separation, and so it is natural for a child to protest the separation of his parents. In the most fundamental meaning, love is not for yourself but for others. That is the basic element of love, and anyone who would live this principle will always oppose the action of separation.
Can you imagine God coming down to a child and saying, “You must not love your parents. You obey Me; I am your God. You must hate your parents.” Could that child obey such a mandate? Even to God that child will say, “What kind of God are You?” If God ever asked a child to hate his own parents then it would have to be for a selfish reason, such as trying to win the child’s love for Himself by having him reject his own parents. But the entire universe revolts against any selfish motive.
How would the child feel if God said, “Your parents may not treat you right. I know your heart, but after all they are your parents. You must respect them; as much as I still love them, you must love them too. You must stay with Me.” If that child has really clear logic, he will say, “God is really God, a God of mercy, unselfishness, and sacrifice.”
A child is the visible fruit of love and that child will serve as the common ground of unity between husband and wife; because of that child, then, there is no way that they could remain eternally separated. We are to live our lives here on earth and pass into spirit world. There the perfect kingdom of heart has four parts, where the love of God, the love of father, mother, and child all together create a warm, harmonious feeling. The person who lives his physical life being separated from people and acting destructively will also be elevated to the spirit world. Do you think such a person can feel comfortable in a heavenly atmosphere? Is there any place for that kind of person to sit down in the spiritual kingdom if he has been living for the destruction of love here on earth?
God and the Building of the Kingdom of God
Reverend Sun Myung Moon
April 17, 1977