Our lives require variety. You eat one thing for breakfast and then another type of food for lunch and dinner. You don’t want to live just on bagels and cream cheese; you know you need other types of food as well. Furthermore, we don’t want to be confined just to the earth’s surface; we want to experience flying in the air and diving under the water. We want to live the way our imaginations direct us.
Just look at the way the human head is placed on the neck. It has tremendous flexibility; in fact, a man can turn his head and shoulders and can see everything around him, encompassing 360 degrees.
Imagine that you could ask a direct question to your hand, saying, “You are not such a beautiful thing by yourself but your purpose is to touch other things. Out of all the things in the world, what would you most like to touch?” The simple answer that hand would give is, “I want to touch the things which are the most valuable.” Ask your eyes, which are always rolling around looking at things, “Why are you so busy?” The eyes would answer, “I’m always looking for the things which are good and valuable.” Another busy part of the face is the mouth, it is always moving. That mouth wants to be able to express the most valuable feelings. Likewise, your feet want to move toward things of greatest value.
Each of you has a mind but you can’t tell me how it looks, or even where it is located in space. Your mind would have the same goal as the other parts of you, to experience things of value.
We can observe other people doing things and we may not see any underlying principle that guides their actions. However if we really examine it, we can find the center and guiding purpose of a person’s life. A person will base his entire life, his actions and everything, on the central value in his life.
Suppose we asked an average woman what she is living for. She would answer that she seeks value in life. The same is true of any man, no matter how high or low in human society. Every person would say that he is seeking greater and greater value in life.
If we asked a saintly woman, “Is there something of more value than even yourself?” she would reply, “A saintly man.” Likewise, the saintly man would consider the saintly woman as having greater value than himself. Do you think that is a silly answer or a correct one? Is a woman’s appearance the factor that gives her more value to a man than himself? What makes the saintly man value the saintly woman so much? That woman has the love within herself which the man needs. It is the quality of her love for him that makes the saintly man value her. The reverse is true as well.
Where does love originate in the very beginning? When we answer that question, all other questions about life and love between men and women are answered. Where love is, man and woman are bound to be as well. We might ask how many kinds of love there are. Does a grandfather feel a different kind of love from his son or his grandson? Can we classify people’s love according to the color of their skin? No, love is the same for all people. The same principle guides love for black people, yellow people and white people. This is the truth, without exception.
What if the love that a man and a woman need was dispersed in every direction-north, south, east and west? It would be very difficult. However, love exists in absolutely one direction. That means if you are going in that direction, you cannot retreat.
We can give a clear example of this principle in the relationship between a man and a woman. Once a man has found his love in his wife, he exists in relationship with her for her entire life, without ever retreating. Once he starts to pursue her as his object, he never stops.
Another example is your eyes. You would never think about exchanging them with another person just to see something differently. How about your mind? Would you ever imagine exchanging the way you think with someone else? It’s impossible!
Since we can never exchange our eyes or our minds with another, it stands to reason that we can never exchange our spouses. A person’s spouse is more valuable than even oneself; therefore, one cannot change spouses at whim. Those of you here are mostly blessed couples and some of you have started your families. Is your spouse pleasant to behold or do you hate to look at him or her? It is possible that someone may feel that he doesn’t even want to look at his or her spouse but the crucial question to ask is whether or not your spouse is truly the genuine one for you. If there is something untrue-not genuine-about that spouse, then you indeed have a problem.
Suppose we had a lump of 24-carat gold and a piece of sculpture of George Washington, also made of 24-carat gold. The lump is very rough and dull, as if someone had retrieved it from a trash can. Suppose both items weighed the same, say one pound. Which has more value? In terms of the gold, they both have the same value. But then let’s say that the ugly lump weighed .3 pounds more than the sculpture. Which would be worth more money then? It would be the ugly lump because it weighed more. We are not so much concerned about how gold looks or what shape it is in, but rather about its quality and whether it is truly 24-carat or not.
We could also compare the value of two people, a pretty woman and a plain woman for example. Suppose the plain woman had more truthfulness and genuineness. We must have a discerning eye, capable of telling the difference between people. We must be able to see when a person has more quality than another, even though that person might be physically less attractive than others. The person who may seem to be more appealing may not have the same quality.
It is true that the woman who has a less beautiful appearance often tends to have more love within her than a woman who is extremely beautiful. Perhaps you men might say, “I would like a good quality woman who is also beautiful!” However, chances are that you cannot have both; it is either/or. There is a Korean adage that says, “There is no truly blessed woman who is beautiful.”
When a woman is beautiful in her youth she will often try to maintain her beauty even after it is gone. She may also continue to be boastful and aggressive as she was when she was young and beautiful. When such a woman approaches, people are diminished by her. On the contrary, the woman who is just average-looking will not be obsessed by her looks but will focus upon her internal beauty. Everything is relative if a woman has one quality, she won’t have the other and vice-versa.
There are all kinds of men: different shapes, sizes, colorings, different types of character and personality, and so forth. Who receives the beautiful woman and the not-so beautiful woman? The man who matches the beautiful woman will receive her, likewise with the not-so-beautiful woman. However, the most important quality of any person is his or her truthfulness. The value of a person is determined by how genuine he or she is.
Within a kingdom there are many citizens. Some of them are loyal and some only pretend to be loyal, always trying to use the king for their own benefit. In what age group would you expect to find more of the insincere subjects? It is usually older people who have learned how to manipulate and use others. An insincere person might have been quite handsome when he was younger, able to get whatever he wanted. But as he grows older, he would get skinnier and less attractive. Therefore, one can imagine that such people would tend to become the imitation loyal subjects as they got older.
Above all your other qualities, your true love must be genuine. Thus you must look at people and things with your eyes tuned in to true love. Do you look at your spouse with the eyes of genuine love? What percentage of your life do you see your spouse through the eyes of true love? Perhaps only 50% of the time? Or maybe only 10% of the time? You can evaluate yourself if you only look at your spouse with eyes of true love 10% of the time, then you can know that you are 90% impure. You know you have to change if you have that much impurity. Ask yourself seriously how pure you are.
The Purpose Of Life, Coming And Going
Reverend Sun Myung Moon
January 8, 1984